It doesn't always have to be perfect

It doesn’t always have to be perfect. It just doesn’t.

I recently stumbled across a quote that said, “I’m an open book in a culture that doesn’t even read”.

I feel like that sometimes.

We are doing the entire world a disservice if we pretend that our lives are perfect and seamless.

We are doing the world a disservice if the filters that we use, not only enhance our photos, but actually change the way we look.

We are doing the world a disservice if we think that we have to change our hair, our clothes, or our style to be worthy.

We are doing the world a disservice if we don’t open up about the real things we struggle with like marriage, parenthood, mental illness, etc.

I pour myself into my family every single day. I work hard. I balance working from home while simultaneously taking care of my children. I cook, I clean, I pay the bills, get the groceries, and make sure everyone is taken care of and has what they need.

It might look perfect from the outside. But it isn’t. Sometimes, I lock the door behind me for 5 minutes and put my head in my hands. I just need a break. I just need a few minutes to myself. Sometimes I just need to cry for a second.

Sometimes I’m so annoyed that I’m juggling all of this that I lash out at my husband when he wants to go snowmobiling with his buddies.

Sometimes I’m jealous of the people who can have a girls night without stressing the entire time about whether their 1 year old is being fussy because she misses her mommy.

Sometimes I look at all the perfect people on Instagram and think, “What the hell is wrong with me?”

•I don’t look like that

•My house doesn’t look like that

•I don’t drive that kind of vehicle

•Their kids are dressed perfect and my kids have been in the same pajamas for 2 days

•They are all of this & I am all of that

But the older I get, the more I realize that I prefer who I am over any of that.

I don’t want all that superficial shit. I want the real authentic pieces. I want to know who you want to be. I want to know how you take care of yourself after a hard day. I want to know what’s going on in your heart and your mind. What are you struggling with? What’s missing? What’s hurting? And how can I help?

It’s a crazy world. It’s a crazy time. Sometimes I’m so tempted to hide in my little bubble and keep my thoughts to myself. But your sweet messages, your sweet words of encouragement, keep me practicing one of the truest joys of my life.

Writing.

With love,

Jordan