From the outside looking in

When my mom comes over to my house, she walks inside my home and shuts all of my curtains. I am not joking. She is always worried that someone is looking in from the outside. I tell her that walking into my home and shutting my curtains is one of her quirks. She laughs and half heartedly defends herself. I don’t object. The curtains stay closed.

She messaged me this morning and encouraged me to watch an Oscar winning short film on YouTube. She said, “It reminds me of you, please watch it. These people don’t shut their curtains either.” How am I going to find a few minutes to watch anything right now? She made me anyways. This short film, called The Neighbors’ Window, took my breath away. A married couple with 3 little ones, are living their purest but most tiring days as parents. You know how it is. We are tired. Directly across from them, a young couple moves in. They can see their entire lives unfold from a perfect birds eye view from their window. This couple is in their prime. Having fun, staying up all night, hosting parties, living life free of any responsibility. They are envious of them. Dreaming of their own freedom again, yearning for something that once was. Little do they know, the young and vibrant couple also watch their family from their own window. They see a beautiful family, two selfless parents, three precious babies, and they long for that. They want that someday. That is their dream. Their ultimate goal. What one someone see if they could see inside your home? I’m sure it would be beautiful. Maybe messy somedays but still beautiful.

My neighbors would see me get up early in the morning for a quiet cup tea. They would see how my husband and I work as a team to make sure the kids have everything they need. They would see my husband give our kids horseback rides. They would see all four of us do puzzles together at our dining room table. They would see us cooking, cleaning up messes around the clock. They would see us wiping snotty noses, giving baths, and changing diapers. They would see books being read, hide and seek being played. They would see my husband working on the home, working in the yard. They would see a married couple who have been together a lot of years, still belly laugh together in the kitchen. They would see something beautiful. Because, despite the exhaustion, it is beautiful. The moral of this Oscar winning film stopped me in my tracks. What an earth altering perspective. On the inside, I can get really caught up in the chaos and lack of control that I feel some days. The constant, 24/7 work it takes to run a home, raise children, work, stay present in your marriage, all while trying to keep your inner self afloat can be hard. But if I were to rewind time. If I was on the outside looking in, everything I would see in my window, would be everything I have ever wanted and longed for. What a beautiful reminder. With love, Jordan

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