For the last time...

There is something important I have learned since having a second baby, it’s that time speeds up at an even more rapid speed than it ever did before.

You don’t think that is possible? It is.

I was cleaning up my house Sunday evening, preparing for my week ahead when I realized I could put Halle’s sit me up chair down in storage. Because unbeknownst to me, she had somehow managed to outgrow it.

Wait a minute, I literally blinked and she is 9 months old. She can sit up on her own now. There is no longer a need for a “sit me up chair”. She sat in that little chair for the very last time and I didn’t even know it. Time escaped me.

There were moments in those early days that I wished that I could press fast forward. Some days were so freaking hard that I wished that I could speed up time.

If one more person would have told me “to soak it all in”, I think I would have either cried or screamed. I wanted to be able to soak it all in. I swear to you that. I knew that time would go too fast. I knew I would long for a newborn on my chest. But when you’re in the middle of it, the mess of it, it feels like you’re surviving. There is no soaking. Just surviving.

Isn’t that ironic? The generations before you and I are not trying to make us scream with their statements and words of wisdom. They just see our lives as beautiful. They see those hard days and long nights as blessings. They long for their grown up children to be 3 months old again and in their arms. Hindsight is 20/20. And they want us to have the wisdom that they have now because as I’ve said before, time escapes us.

I have had a few moments in recent weeks where I have completely choked up unexpectedly. I see Halle, those beautiful blue eyes, her independence, her chubby cheeks, her giggle, her personality and I can’t believe we are inching towards one year of her being in our world. It’s went too fast.

Did she get enough from me as I juggled mothering both her and her brother? Did I take enough pictures? Did I get enough videos? Why did this time go so much faster? I know it’s because I’m parenting two simultaneously. How will that affect who she is as a person? There’s plenty of second children who end up okay, right? Lol

Deep breath, Jordan. You LIVE for her and her brother. She knows that. You know that. Unconditional love is a powerful thing. And she has that, forever.

Her little sit me up chair is still sitting against the wall in my dining room. I haven’t packed it away yet. And that’s okay. I’m going to leave it there another day or two because, well...I’m not ready to part ways with it quite yet. And that’s okay.

But here are my thoughts. And take it for what it is. But my experience and wisdom may differ slightly from our elders. Instead of “soaking it all in”, can we please just try to “breathe it all in”? We are parents, we have no time to soak. But, we do have time to breathe. Take a deep breath. Lay that beautiful baby on your chest. Feel her heart beat against yours. Take a few seconds and just breathe her in...1, 2, 3.

With love,

Jordan