I hit my goal of making it to 35 weeks pregnant...so why do I feel like crying?

I had one major goal this pregnancy. It was to make it to at least 35 weeks pregnant. Because I had my son at 34 1/2 weeks, my goal was to make it further than that. So here I am, hitting my goal, blood pressure doing fine, sugars stable, and all I feel like doing is crying.

You guys, I am exhausted. I am physically, mentally, emotionally drained. I am just getting over a terrible stomach flu which I wouldn't wish on anyone. It stole all of my energy, my drive, and I basically was a worthless wife and mother who let her 2 year old watch way too much Netflix all weekend. So on top of not feeling good, I have "mom guilt" for letting Hunter watch as many movies as he wanted.

My house is a disaster, there are crumbs all over my living room rug, my floors need swept and mopped, dishes are piled in my sink, laundry is piled like a mountain in my bedroom & even though looking at all of this is making me cringe, I know that I don't have the energy to do anything about it.

I want a home cooked meal because it's the only type of food that sounds appealing to my stomach right now. But my crock pot needs cleaned out (and I'm not doing that), Walmart cancelled my pick up order twice (and I'm not stepping foot in a grocery store), so it looks like a "fend for yourself" type of night for dinner.

Our baby nursery looks more like a "junk room" than a nursery. We have every thing from her baby shower in boxes, a crib that is not put together, and all of our Christmas presents stuffed in her room. I know she won't even sleep in her room until she's 1...okay 2...but I want it all together before she gets here.

Christmas is almost here but we don't have our tree up, we have no Christmas decorations around the house, and the thought of wrapping presents is overwhelming (gift bags, it is).

Work is always hectic around the holiday's, especially when you're trying to wrap up all loose ends before a 3 month maternity leave. I feel like there is not enough hours in the day.

I told myself, if I made it to 35 weeks, I would never complain about the final weeks of pregnancy. I would speak nothing of the sleepless nights, peeing every 10 minutes, heartburn (you're killing my vibe), lack of energy, lower back pain (holy crap), and every other ache and pain we as women experience. Well...jokes on me. I just created an entire blog dedicated to complaining.

I know this is just temporary. I know that in 3 1/2 weeks, I will be holding this sweet baby in my arms. I have felt such a beautiful connection with her since the moment I found out I was pregnant. I can't wait to meet her (although I feel as if I already know her). How will I get from A to B? I don't know for certain. Maybe she will still come early, maybe she will surprise us all and come when she is supposed to (Jan. 2nd). But I know that I will power through with all the strength I can muster because she is the prize at the end of this tough race.

I found this quote, and it encompasses everything I want my sweet baby girl to know:

"I will not tell

my daughter that

she can be anything she wants.

I will tell her to be herself;

and then anything

she wants

will float beautifully

towards her."

You guys, there is nothing more true.

Be yourself.

Share your story.

Be willing to be vulnerable, even if you feel exposed, or like the world's biggest debbie downer.

I am going to try and get my mind right, set my intentions, and express gratefulness for this pregnancy that is inching near full term (something I didn't get to experience the last time).

But I must not forget, that it is okay to feel other things, to have off days, off weeks, to be willing to ask for help when you need it.

So guys, any advice for this waddling/fire breathing (heartburn) mama? How can I get through these last few weeks...I'll take all the advice I can get.

Xoxo,

Jordan