I just turned 30, I found the first set of wrinkles on my face, and I (mostly) don't care.

On this day, at 3:01 A.M., approximately 30 years ago...I entered the world.

Yes, it's my 30th Birthday. Yes, I recently discovered a set of wrinkles (okay, fine lines), in between my eyebrows. And no, besides a minor moment of terror, and some investment in some good skincare cream, I don't care.

My mom said turning 30 years old was harder for her than any other age. And I get that. But truly, I look at turning 30 as a complete blessing. I have more wisdom, more love, more understanding, more empathy, more compassion, a clearer understanding of who I am than ever before. And I like me, a whole heck of a lot better now than I ever did.

I have decided to use my Birthday as a catapult to launch my blog, and post my very first official "blog post". About 15 years ago, I had something very similar to a blog. It was called Xanga, and I poured my pure little heart out on that site. And then my Xanga page turned into my Myspace page, and then eventually Myspace became obsolete, so I started posting "notes" on Facebook to write, and well, I have been encouraged and felt compelled to create my own blog where I can share the things that weigh on my heart.

So with that, here it goes...

30 Life Lessons I Have Learned In My 30 Years On This Earth:

1. Recognize your gifts, find what moves you, speaks to you, and do more of that and less of everything else.

2. If you have grandparents who blessed your life, and taught you about everlasting love and marriage, why it's important to pay for things in cash, why dinners together every night bring you together as a family, and why God should be the center of your life...tell them thank you and implement what they taught you.

3. Tell the people you love, "I love you", regularly, weekly, daily. Tell them.

4. Do you ever have a gray cloud come over you? You might be sitting on the couch, watching a show, there's nothing actually wrong, but you just feel discontent? Get up and do something productive. I don't care if you do the dishes or throw in a load of laundry, just do something. Don't sit with that. Being productive gets me out of that funk.

5. Brene Brown should become your new best friend and you should learn and implement everything she teaches. She taught me this really great tool. You know that feeling you get when you're looking at your baby and you can't even explain in words how much you love them? And then that terrible thought crosses your mind, like omg, I love them too much, something bad is going to happen...and then fear creeps in. She says it happens to all of us. Like if our lives are in a good place, we just anticipate that things are going to go downhill. Instead of letting your brain do that, STOP. She said if you practice true gratefulness for what you have...true gratefulness for the love you have for your child, for your life, you can't experience fear at the same time.

6. Find a community of people who respect you, challenge you, and most importantly, let you be y o u. I have friends in my life who I have loved and cherished from birth, from the 2nd grade, from middle school, and of course high school. Their friendships are deeply embedded into who I am as a person. And that is a beautiful thing. I used to say that I didn't need anyone else because I had them. However with that mindset, I lost out on a chance to grow as a person and a friend. About 4 years ago, I started a new job and I connected with a group of insanely beautiful, intelligent, powerful, and kind women. My heart needed those friendships. I have opened up to them in a way that I hadn't before. I value friendships that are empowering, accepting, and worthy.

7. I don't think you should see the world in just black and white. I hope you see it in shades of gray. I hope that you always hear and respect another person's opinion and point of view. I hope that you understand that behind people's choices, mistakes, bad habits, addictions...lies a story, a history, trauma, things on the inside that we cannot see or understand. I hope that you're open to learning and accepting of new information. I hope that you never become so set in your ways that you fail to see a better way.

8. Be vulnerable. Share your story with the people who are deserving to hear it. It is freeing.

9. Give compliments. Have you ever complimented someone and swore that you could see tears start to swell in their eyes? There have been moments in my life where a compliment stung my heart in a way I didn't know was possible. It hit me hard, meant something to me, impacted me, left me with something beautiful...a reminder that I do matter and that I am seen.

10. If you have messed up, kind of messed up, maybe/sort of messed up...own it. You need to apologize. Apologize to the person you hurt. A few weeks ago I had lunch with an old/lifelong friend. I had this wave of regret come over me. She had had children way before I did. I didn't know or have the knowledge to be there for her in the way she deserved a friend to be. I apologized. I told her that I wished I had been a better friend to her during that time because now I could see it for what it was. She understood, as I knew she would. But I felt better in the end. It had been weighing on my heart.

11. Music is therapy. I don't care what genre you listen to. It is therapy.

12. Tell people thank you. And don't just say it, mean it. Look them in the eyes and say thank you, from the bottom of your heart.

13. Listen! Why are good listening skills such a rare commodity? I seriously shut down if I try to speak or open up to someone and am interrupted, or "one upped", or worst of all, my statement isn't even acknowledged and the subject is changed. That hurts. As humans, we crave connection. We are hardwired to connect with others. The basis of connection is being heard. You need to listen.

14. Go on vacation. I don't care if you camp at your local State Park or if you travel to Italy for your honeymoon. Travel! One of the things I do for a living is complete something called an Integrated Assessment. It is basically a screening tool used to gather information about people, their lives, their stories. I ask people to tell me about their "positive family experiences". Guess what 99% name as their most prized possessions? V A C A T I O N S.

15. Get your oil changed regularly, don't drive too far on empty, fix-o-flat for your tire should not be a long-term remedy, do not hit pot holes if possible, and if your car temperature gauge says hot...pull over and park your car.

16. Move your body. I am no fitness expert, clearly, but I know that movement changes my mood, helps me focus, and overall, makes me feel good.

17. Don't be mean to your spouse just because you had a bad day (working on this one lol).

18. Your past is a beautiful thing, but don't let it play tricks on you. Our brain does a really great job of emphasizing the good and minimizing the bad.

19. The grass is not greener on the other side.

20. Just because someone desires you, it does not mean that they love you. Teach your children this, teach your daughter's this. I don't know the correct way to instill "worth" in your children, but do your best to figure it out.

21. Put your phone down. Easier said than done, believe me. I am working on this, struggling with this, and honestly, disgusted with the amount of time I spend with my head in my phone. Anyone else pretend to not see their screen time usage? Vulnerability here....but Hunter was my biggest wake up call. He started putting his hands on my face to move my head towards him. That makes my stomach hurt to think about.

22. It's a hard lesson when we change and grow, and the people we always had in our lives aren't there anymore.

23. Our society has been tainted by technology, by Facebook, by Instagram. It's both a blessing and a curse. We spend too much of our own time comparing ourselves to people and lives that are not authentic. In return, we feel less than, not pretty enough, not wealthy enough, not cool enough...not enough. It's bullshit. It's all bullshit. My friend Jess tells me I need to delete Instagram when I start talking about plastic surgery. Thank God for friends who bring you back to reality.

24. It feels good to take care of yourself. I never understood women who could get up every morning, put on a full face of makeup, do their hair, and wear a perfect outfit. Of course, I would dress up on important days...but boy, the majority of my life consisted of throwing some makeup on my face, throwing my hair in a bun, and running out the door to meet the day. That is fine, I still do this. But truly, I feel better about myself, more confident in my skin, more in tune with who I am when I take the time to get ready. Imagine you're at a restaurant, you see some woman who likes like a well dressed/put together businesswoman, and you think...how does she do it? Well, get up an hour earlier...and do it. It's that simple.

25. Being a mother is the best but the hardest job in the world. I love my son, and soon to be daughter, with the most pure love this world has ever seen. But, my journey to motherhood, was difficult. It felt lonely. I felt like I lost myself and was unsure I would ever be "Jordan" again. I felt ill prepared for my first pregnancy and the first 3 months after my son was born. I faced crippling depression and anxiety. I couldn't get off the couch. I was lost and empty and I knew it. My advice to you is to be honest about the challenges of motherhood. I have seen other mother's share vulnerable posts about their experiences, their struggles, their fears, their pain. It is a beautiful thing to be raw and real. And guess what? When you're authentic...it encourages other women to tell the truth about their own experiences. Maybe if everyone did this...we wouldn't walk into motherhood so unprepared. We would have clearer expectations. My grandma said that during her time as a new mother, family, friends, church members, would be present to teach, to help, to give an extra hand, to make a meal, to just be there so that women didn't fall into this trap of emptiness and loneliness. Do you know a new mama? Go visit her. Bring her a meal. Give her a hug and tell her that she's doing a great job.

26. Appreciate the people who have left a profound impact on your heart. Appreciate the people who have taught you, led you, and molded you into the person you are today. Tell them. I have a handful of people I have stumbled upon in this life that truly impacted me in an incredible way. A grandmother, a teacher, a principal, a friend. Recognize why they impacted you so much and try and take on those skills so you can do the same for others in your life.

27. If a person or a situation you're in, doesn't sit right with you. Remove yourself from it.

28. Soulmates are real and they don't always have to be romantic in nature. I think soulmates are deeper than that. It's a person who understands your core. It's a person who just "gets you". It's a person who when you're around them, when you're with them, you feel a sense of peace and comfort. It's unspoken, there are no words, probably because our English language doesn't have beautiful enough vocabulary to describe it.

29. The unplanned days, the unplanned nights, are always the best. Like an unplanned trip to Clinton, Iowa, for chinese food and a baseball game might go down as one of the best memories of my life.

30. I wanted to make #30 special. But all that is coming to me is this... put your hand out to people. Ask them how they are doing? Do you feel pushed away by a certain family member, a certain friend? They are going through something. Don't let them push you out. Put one foot forward and let yourself in. They need you. Help those people find their light again. We've all lost it once or twice before. We all are a bit broken, we all want to be healed. We all want to wake up each morning with love and fulfillment in our hearts. If we just extended a hand out to the people who are struggling, I think we would find that those broken pieces inside of us would slowly begin to heal.

So there you go. I finally did it.

I hope you found at least one thing that spoke to you. I hope you feel inspired. I hope it encourages you to do better, be better, to love deeper, to practice more gratefulness, to pursue the things within your heart.

Xoxo,

Jordan